Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?

2:37 a.m. I awaken to the hum of a lone engine. Car doors slam. Multiple voices break the silence.

Downstairs the dog wakes and goes ballistic, barking her head off. My husband’s in Chicago on business, making me the designated adult. The most interesting things happen when he’s not here.

Springing from the warm cocoon of my bed, I whisper-yell to shush the dog. She keeps barking as the voices keep talking. I peek out the window. A strange, non-descript car is parked on the side street. No people in sight.

Leaving the lights off and my child asleep, I run down the stairs sans glasses, socks or robe. I strain to peer out the first floor windows into blackness.

Where are they? Front yard? Backyard? Alley? Breaking into my car? Approaching my house?

I dial the non-emergency number. A familiar voice answers.

My former neighbor and dear friend is as a dispatcher and just so happens to be on midnights. She stays on the line as two police cars rush to the scene.

Their giant spotlights shine across the fronts of houses, making eerie shadows on the snow. In moments, the officers march four ominous figures back to the car on the side street.

Burglars? Drug dealers? Terrorists?

Fearless Ferocious

Then I see one of the guys is carrying something large, flat and plastic. It's a sled.

We’ve had a few car break-ins recently in the neighborhood, but not this time.

On this pitch black morning, so early most of us consider it the middle of the night, four guys decided it would be fun to go sledding in the park across the street from my house.

I thank my friend. Praise the dog for her bravery. Trudge back upstairs and to bed. A cacophony of thoughts join me there.

I remember skipping down the residential section of Cameron Avenue in Chapel Hill late one night, arm in arm with my best friends, singing I Will Survive at the top of our lungs on our way to a mixer. Some good police officer should have marched us back to the sorority house to study.

I imagine how frightened families must feel in war zones and places of unrest or danger. Listening to voices outside, wondering if at any moment they might burst in.

I think about how it is no coincidence my friend was working at the station that night.  How God never sleeps. How youth is wasted on the young.

How the Beverly Hills Cop theme The Heat is On playing in my head is a terrific song and Axel F is genius. Gradually, gratefully, eventually, I go back to sleep in peace.

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8 NIV

To listen to Axel F by Harold Faltermeyer on YouTube, click here.

Hats off to Bob Marley, Gloria Gaynor, Eddie Murphy, Glen Frey and Harold Faltermeyer for the cultural references. Thanks for the memories, guys.

Ice Ice Baby

Fun Ice

Unless I can skate on it, put it in a Coke, or wear it in a ring, ice is not my friend.

A little background. Recently several inches of ice fell in St. Louis followed by several inches of snow followed by single digit temps.

Of course it’s all melting now when I want to post this story. Not so a couple days ago when I decided to take the dog for a walk in the neighborhood.

The sun is shining. The sky is blue. We avoid the icy places by hopping between plowed pavement and stretches of snow where our feet can still get some traction.

Loop Ice

We’ve walked about a quarter mile from the house. This weather’s not going to stop us. We're going the distance.

Then my dog spots another dog in an electronically fenced yard across the street. Instinctively she is drawn to this irresistible creature.

A little more background. My dog is only 15 pounds or so of cairn terrier. But as Brian Kilcommons and Sarah Wilson write in Paws to Consider: Choosing the Right Dog for You and Your Family, you don’t own a terrier. You live with them.

The leash tightens, I step out, hit the icy sidewalk and boom. Down like dominoes, I land on my behind, my back, my shoulders, and finally crack my head against the hard, frozen ground.

“Ow!” I sit up. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” I say as if anyone else is on the tundra.

Visions of Natasha Richardson come to mind. I’m quite sure I’m going to die. My head aches as I stand. Must get home, must get home.

Bag Ice

The dog has other ideas. She digs in her little heels, if dogs even have heels. She insists we go to see the canine w-a-y over there.

“Oh, all right. I guess if I’m going to die today and this is our last walk together, we might as well go where you want.” Yes, I talk to my dog.

“That’s it. We are so moving South. It is craziness to live in this weather. People are not made for this. What were those pioneers thinking?”

We visit the barking mess across the street, the only other witness to my potentially fatal accident. Then we start the walk home in the middle of the cleared road.

“Sure we have some ice in North Carolina, but no one goes out in it. And do you know why? Because they might fall and die, that’s why!”

The dog begins to pull toward a tree.

“You’re as spoiled as a child, you know that?”

After an eternity, we make it home. I Google head injuries and call my husband who is in warm Orlando on business, bless his heart. The most interesting things happen when he’s not here.

Once we’ve determined I will probably survive, I hang up and record this episode to share with you.

Then I take a Tylenol and the rest of the day off. Who knows? It could be my last.

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14 NIV

No dogs, children or rappers were harmed in the making of this post. And yes, those are bike helmets.

To see Vanilla Ice's video Ice Ice Baby on YouTube, click here.